A Big New Family Member

NicBlog PostsLeave a Comment


So, this weekend started on Friday afternoon with Penelope, Oma, and myself making a tip out to Cosco. I like to use Grandma’s VIP Costco card to go get giant burro-sized bags of rice and such. On this excursion, while looking at a gigantic something-or-other, I noticed an Asian man carrying a teddy bear that was taller than he was. I was intrigued. I kept an eye out and finally noticed the refrigerator box full of fluff.

PJ let out an extra-special yelp and I knew we had a winner. But a lesson had to be taught. I was a kid who wanted a lot. Not that I wanted for much I just had an internal drive to acquire stuff and my family did not have the means to satisfy my Ricky Schroder sized yearnings. So I learned to scheme. Not ask-mom-then-dad type rudimentary scheming (mostly because my dad wasn’t havin’ that) but forging myself into a full-on Jr. HustleMan. The lesson for Penelope on this day was that we take a picture of what we want and maybe It’ll just appear at our door. I have trained myself to see something in stores and come home to price check. Then, if I want it enough and can find a hook-up, the mailman brings it to my door a couple days later. So we threw Pippa in the box ‘o bears and snapped away.

Then we left the bears there and headed home. Wifey was disappointed I didn’t pull the trigger on the bear, but normally I don’t like to make big decisions on my own. And even at under $30, this bear was giant. But I told her I would go back to get it the next day, and hoped I could just borrow mom’s card and sidestep questions about why “Joanna Schultz” had a beard. Moms obliged and Costco as well. I was in business. But first, I stopped at Best Buy, as all husbands do on their way to go run errands. While I was there looking for, something… I stopped to play the new baseball game for xbox. They already had the Tigers @ Yankees all setup, and as any Tiger fan knows, Detroit was in NY that weekend. As for the video game, let’s just say Verlander fanned 7 thru 6 and Delmon Young hit for the cycle.

It was cool. A bit of redemption for Mr. Young. Overall it was a 20 minute bonding experience for myself and the old folks who walked up on the screen thinking it was the actual Tiger game. I still wist I could get The Show for 360 tho…
But I digress. And headed toward Livonia, and the Costco Bear that I knew would change my daughter’s life. When I found the perfect one, I carried it to the register, again hoping not to have my true identity revealed to the sleuth/cashiers of Costco.

I did feel a bit like I was at a carnival, with all the envious parent and jealous children eyes on me and my prize. I got to the front, paid and went to try and cram this giant stuffed beast into my car. I drove home down I-275 and will never forget all the double and triple takes from the other drivers. I had a giant bear as my co-pilot and it looked for all intents and purposes like a man in a bear suit. Plus I still have the beard. So everyone noticed us.

When I arrived home, of course, Penelope was elated. I instantly took to calling the thing “Big Bad Bear” because, well, just because. Pippa took to wrestling him and straddling his neck.

My wife did notice instantly that it looks like a man in a bear suit. So she took to being startled by him. Big Bad Bear. In the House. I put him in a snazzy outfit, obtained from the UofM Garage Sale. I only bought one maize and blue sock at the sale (“Why would I really need one sock, much less two?”) but regret that logic at this point. I think I’ll try to contact David Brandon and see if he can search around Yost for a match. I really like all the cool stitches in them to sew shut the many holes in them. I did wash the jersey so Big Bad does not, in fact, smell like a sweaty ‘Canuck.

Big Bad “lives” in the family room now and is a full-fledged member of the Schultz Clan. I decided he was a boy -nay- a man (he is big and bad after all) so the gender-scales are balancing out a little. Indie, Jess and Pippa still got us beat, but me and B.B. are bigger that all of them put together, so we hold our own. He defiantly commands a certain presence in the room, but not in too startling of a way. He just sits there and looks at the TV. And entertains my daughter. She is now pretty officially spoiled. She has a bigger teddy bear already than I had combined in my entire childhood. All hail Princess Pippa.
Here’s the link to the flickr set for all the photos of Big Bear.